In the review of "Dracula, Prince of Darkness", I commented on the fact that DVD releases of Hammer's films are a "confusing mess of widely varying quality and extras, and boxed sets with films you're not remotely interested in."

Carlton's "Classic Horror Collection" is a good example of this, with one of the company's better early seventies efforts is bunged out in a set with a pair of unrelated films from other producers.

Hammer's "Hands of the Ripper" is the best of the three films on offer here. It shares some similarities with "Doctor Jekyll and Sister Hyde", with a few Ripper references (Berner Street, Long Liz), a barrowload of "cor blimeys" and a bonkers storyline.

The opening scenes give us a lynchmob of Cockneys chasing the Ripper through the East End after his latest murder. Arriving home, his missues finally twigs why her husband has been coming home covered in blood, so he proceeds to stab her. All in front of his young daughter Anna - Victorian family values eh?

Moving forward a few years, the daughter, now played by Angharad Rees, is working for a fake medium (Dora Bryan), who has taken her in. That's "working" in two senses of the word - providing fake voices for seances and some "upstairs" work for a the occasional male guest.

While most of the guests are convinced by the act, Dr Pritchard (Eric Porter) sees through it straightaway. However, while he's waiting for a cab, another guest, Dysart (Derek Godfrey), has decided to partake of Anna's services. The only problem is Anna falls into a trance after he flashes some jewellery, so he decides to slap her around a bit. Alerted by the commotion, Mrs Golding enters, only to get run through by a poker.

Of course, we all know already that Anna is the killer, but naturally the police suspect one of Mrs Golding's guests, possibly Dysart. Helpfully, Pritchard supplies him with an alibi, and then takes Anna into his own home so he can put his knowledge of Freud's work to good use by discovering what makes her kill.

Naturally he gets nowhere near discovering anything, as Anna goes on the sort of killing spree that her father would have been proud of. And, this being a Hammer film all the deaths are nicely lurid, as Lynda Baron gets stabs in the eye with a bunch of hatpins and Pritchard gets a sword thrust into him.

Throw in Pritchard's son's blind fiancee and you've got a gloriously OTT Hammer horror. This being a seventies Hammer there's even a hint of flash and we get to see Rees in the bath. All in all a highly enjoyable slice of Hammer, with a strong ending.

"Hands of the Ripper" director Peter Sasdy was also responsible for "The Monster", but sadly it's nowhere near as good.

In fact, a lot of this "Rosemary's Baby" rip-off is almost laughable. Joan Collins has a difficult birth (helped by "Play School" presenter Floella Benjamin), but within moments there's not a trace of sweat on her; Ralph Bates, playing her husband, has a comedy Italian accent; and the supposedly possessed baby just spends most of the time smiling sweetly.

The baby's killing spree includes some rather brutal deaths - including a hanging and a decapitation - and a completely hilarious one, involving a sweating dwarf.

Horror stalwart Donald Pleasance gets to play a good guy for a change, while 70s saucepot Caroline Munro puts in an appearance as Joanie's sister. Sadly, despite playing a stripper, Munro - whose lines are dubbed - comes nowhere near to getting 'em out (as usual).

With a comedy climax which sees the dwarf's heart attack last for ages, "The Monster" isn't remotely sinister or frightening. The deaths might be brutal, but that's not enough to make it work as a horror film.

Donald Pleasance also crops up in "The Uncanny", but despite the presence of Peter Cushing, this anthology is another below par effort.

Sadly, Cushing only gets to play an author trying to sell his book - about how evil cats are! - to his publisher (Ray Milland), introducing each of the three stories, but not actually taking part.

The first one is the best, as Simon Williams persuades maid Susan Penhaligon to steal his aunt's will, which leaves all her money to her cats and next to nothing to him. Caught in the act, she murders the old bat, only to find the cats turning on her.

The attack on Penhaligon is pretty horrific, and she ends up covered in blood. Throw in some decaying bodies and a gross moment when Penhaligon's character spreads cat food on some stale bread (she's been trapped in a room by the evil felines), and this is a reasonable start.

Next up, we have the tale of an orphaned Canadian girl, whose aunt and uncle aren't particularly thrilled that she's brought her cat and a bunch of books on witchcraft with her.

This segment is pretty uninvolving as we really don't give a toss what happens to the girl, the effects are decidedly dodgy and the cat isn't even the baddie!

Pleasance crops up in the final installment, playing an actor whose wife is "accidentally" killed on set. Fortunately, he's got a replacement (in both senses of the word) in Samantha Eggar.

The whole thing hinges on the fact that a studio would fill its set with real, working weapons, which is, quite frankly, ridiculous. Even Pleasance isn't good enough to save this one.

"The Uncanny" is a bit of a clunker. Cushing is limited to introducing the three segments, none of which are up to much, and the effects are rather woeful.

Extras are limited to a trailer for "Hands of the Ripper" and nothing on the other two discs. The collection can be picked up for around £13-14, which isn't bad for three films, but only "Hands of the Ripper" can really be described as a "classic horror" film. BACK TO THE TOP

THE CLASSIC HORROR COLLECTION

CARLTON

REGION 2 / CERTIFICATE 15


"HANDS OF THE RIPPER"
Written by L.W. DAVIDSON

Directed by PETER SASDY

Starring ERIC PORTER,
JANE MERROW, ANGHARAD REES,
DEREK GODFREY


"THE MONSTER"
Written by STANLEY PRICE

Directed by PETER SASDY

Starring JOAN COLLINS,
EILEEN ATKINS,
RALPH BATES, DONALD PLEASANCE


"THE UNCANNY"
Written by MICHEL PARRY

Directed by DENIS HEROUX

Starring PETER CUSHING,
SAMANTHA EGGAR, RAY MILLAND,
SUSAN PENHALIGON,
DONALD PLEASANCE,
ALEXANDRA STEWART,
JOHN VERNON


RATING: 6/10