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"Who will stop the vampires stalking L.A.?" asks the cover of the novelisation of Joss Whedon's script for the BUFFY movie. I think I'll have to get back to you on that one...

Okay, so we all know the plot: teenager Buffy Summers is more interested in cheerleading at Hemery High than in fulfilling her destiny as the Chosen One, blah blah blah...

If you're a DOCTOR WHO fan like me, then straightforward novelisations that just add "he said" and "she said" to the script probably already take up a huge chunk of shelf space. Sadly, Richie Tankersley Cusick's novelisation doesn't really stand-out from most of the WHO ones that Terrance Dicks churned out on a monthly basis for much of the eighties.

The main advantage any novelisation of the BUFFY movie has is the absence of some of the more slapstick elements of the film - notably Amilyn's "hilarious" death sequence. The characters of Merrick and Lothos also appear marginally more alive on the page than on screen, although given the comatose acting from Donald Sutherland and Rutger Hauer that's not much of a surprise. Buffy and Pike fare less well; in particular, the scene where Buffy slices Pike's hot dog seems a bit ridiculous on the page.

On the downside, there's still some truly terrible lines: e.g. knight walks into bar and says "Some plague we're having, huh?" Like it's the weather he's talking about and not the Black Death or something. Argh!

The whole thing lopes along at a reasonable pace without ever breaking into a sweat, but then you don't expect much from a movie novelisation that is aimed pretty squarely at kids. It's not too bad, but it's nothing to write home about either. BACK TO THE TOP

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER

Written by:
RICHIE TANKERSLEY CUSICK

POCKET BOOKS

$3.99


RATING: 4/10