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Jay:
Please welcome Sarah Michelle Gellar!
The
band plays the Buffy theme music as Sarah walks on, kisses
Jay and waves to the audience.
Jay:
You look great!
Sarah:
Thank you. I was hoping I was gonna get the Furby.
Jay:
You like the...you like the hurling tree?
Sarah:
That's the closest I've [to the audience] thank you! That
was the closest I've ever come to a Furby.
Jay:
Have you ever seen a hurling tree?
Sarah:
Well, mine when we first got it, but I don't think it was intentional.
Jay:
No, no...I've hurled around the tree, but I've never actually
had a hurling tree.
Sarah:
My dog peed under the tree.
Jay:
Did he really?
Sarah:
He marked the tree.
Jay:
Oh isn't that...well, that's a sign of love.
Sarah:
Well, I think it's a sign that you couldn't tell him he's not
supposed to do that 'cause he can pee on trees outside, so...
Jay:
Well, they can teach dogs actually not to do that now.
We have the technology.
Sarah:
Not with my dog.
Jay:
Is your dog that kinda dumb?
Sarah:
No, he's not dumb. He's sweet, but he's...you know, he's
a little dumb.
Jay:
He's a little dumb. So, is your tree up?
Sarah:
My tree is up. My tree is beautiful. I think we
have pictures of my tree.
Jay:
I do. This is your…what, now that’s very nice.
Did you do this all yourself?
Sarah:
Yes, actually. In our Christmas show [Amends] that
airs tomorrow [15 December] actually, we had a Christmas tree
lot, and…Jay shows the photo to camera.
Jay:
You know it’s interesting. It’s a beautiful
tree but you are the crappiest photographer I’ve ever seen.
That’s the worst picture I’ve ever seen! Who
takes half a tree?
Sarah:
No, there’s a door right there!
Jay:
You don’t…well, you move…
Sarah:
It’s my door. I couldn’t move the tree for the
picture.
Jay:
No, but you take the picture. Look, you only see like two Christmas
things. [Shows Sarah the picture] It looks like
that the ad for that lady in the...
Sarah
makes a puppy dog face which elicits the audience's sympathy.
Jay:
Stop making that face. I’m trying to help you.
Sarah:
I thought it was a pretty tree.
Jay:
It’s a lovely tree.
Sarah:
It’s got all the Disney ornaments, Taco Bell talking Chihuahuas.
I made them into ornaments.
Jay:
There you go.
Sarah:
It’s a great tree! And it was a gift from my show.
Jay:
Oh, it is. And it’s a lovely door and a beautiful
hinge.
Sarah:
I put that door up myself!
Jay:
Did you really?
Sarah:
I was there with the hammer and…what else do you use…a
nail?
Jay:
You put the door up with a hammer and nail?
Sarah:
Oh yeah.
Jay:
Really? And it opens and closes?
Sarah:
Sort of opens and closes.
Jay:
That’s amazing! Now, what else do you have on your
tree? Any other little items I should know about?
There’s an angel at the top.
Sarah:
Yes.
Jay:
What did you tell me before? You had the clapper thing.
Sarah:
Oh, you have to bend down every time to plug the tree in so
you forget…you get lazy…
Jay:
Isn’t that a pain when you’re twenty-two?
Sarah:
[leans over and whispers] I’m not twenty-two yet.
Jay:
You’re not twenty-two. How old are you?
Sarah:
I’m twenty-one.
Jay:
Wow! You’re only twenty-one! That’s amazing.
Sarah:
But I put a clapper on my tree, which is great. So now
when you come into the house instead of having to, like…you
go [claps] Yeah! You don’t have one here, right?
Jay:
No, no.
Sarah:
Just making sure.
Jay:
You have the regular clapper or the smart clapper?
Sarah:
Is that like a dog…is this a joke about my dog?
Jay:
No, there’s a smart clapper. It’s better to
start off with a regular clapper and work your way up to the
smart. That’s what I did, I worked my way up to the
smart.
Sarah:
I don’t think it’s a smart clapper. I don’t
think I would have been capable of plugging that one in myself!
Jay:
You could fix it with a hammer and nail [mimes] to fix the smart
clapper. Now, do you miss the Christmases back east?
Do you miss the cold weather?
Sarah:
I…You know, I’m from back east. So every Christmas
it would snow and we’d go to Rockefeller Centre and see
the big tree and skate and then when I was little we came to
California for my first Christmas 'cause my family lives out
here and there was no snow. It was, like, seventy-five
degrees. So I started thinking how said it was that people
in California don’t have Christmas!
Jay:
Right…there’s no snow.
Sarah:
There’s no snow. There’s only Christmas back
east; then my mother had to explain to me that there it’s
still Christmas even if there isn’t snow…
Jay:
Right.
Sarah:
…and, of course, I was, like, sixteen. So you’d
thought I’d have figured it out.
Jay:
Yeah, yeah.
Sarah:
No, I was, like, four.
Jay:
Now, see, like I have a gift for you.
Sarah:
For me?
Jay:
See, you thought I was picking on you. No, it’s an
actual gift, I knew that. [He puts an icebox onto desk]
This came from New Hampshire. It’s an actual snowball
from New Hampshire.
Jay
shows the audience. Sarah gasps. Jay hands her the snowball.
Sarah:
Look, it’s just like Christmas!
Jay:
You see?
Sarah:
[surprised] It’s real.
Jay:
It’s a real one, yeah. There’s two in here so
you can save one for later.
Sarah:
That’s amazing. 'Cause I can’t even take like Zaybar’s
Spreads from back east down to…they won’t put them
in the refrigerator for me.
Jay:
You wanna save this or you wanna hurl it in the tree?
Sarah:
Save it.
The
audience want them to hurl it.
Jay:
There’s enough snow if you wanna hurl one at somebody.
Sarah:
Only if you do it with me
Jay:
All right. [He makes a snowball] Here, here. [He
puts the snowball in the tree] I’ll show you.
Sarah:
We’re having a snowball fight!
Jay:
Place it here. Okay, here we go.
Sarah:
[excited] The clapper! [claps]
Jay:
Here we go, pulling back…
The
tree throws snowball into audience. It lands a couple
of rows back from where the Furby landed.
Jay:
You gotta save this, you take this with you.
Sarah:
I will. Thank you very much.
Jay:
I’ll put it right here [he puts in on the floor]
Sarah:
Thank you. Now it’s just like snow at my house…Christmas
at my house.
Jay:
Now you know what it’s like to have snow.
Sarah:
Yeah! There is snow in California, see?
Jay:
See, so there.
Sarah:
I’m sorry.
Jay:
It’ll be like a happier Christmas for you.
Sarah:
Thank you.
Jay:
You didn’t think I was picking on you before, did you?
Sarah:
No, not at all.
Jay:
Cause you know, I’m a huge fan. You know I always
enjoy your early work especially.
Sarah:
[embarrassed] Uh-oh! This always makes me very nervous.
Jay:
I love…I love those cause you’re so cute. … We
have an early Burger King when you sing. I didn’t know
you sang.
Sarah:
I didn’t then.
Jay:
No, no, you have a lovely…voice. Here, here, show
me the Burger King commercial.
Sarah
cringes and hides her head.
The
commercial shows five girls, including a very young Sarah singing
Have yourself a merry little Christmas. At the
end, the camera closes in on Sarah who says 'Merry Christmas
McDonalds'. Throughout the ad, Sarah is shown on an inset
in the bottom right of the screen.
Jay:
That’s very good.
Sarah:
That would actually be… [they laugh during applause]
That would be the day I started singing lessons, right after
we shot that commercial.
Jay:
Did you really?
Sarah:
Oh yeah, they put me in singing lessons right away!
Jay:
I like that. I like it how…I like how it goes "Chreee…"
It’s just a beautiful, ear-splitting song.
Sarah:
But I was cute!
Jay:
But that was like a famous…there were famous people in
that.
Sarah:
Yeah! That’s Lea Thompson and Lisa Shue playing the
counter-girls in the commercial with me.
Jay:
Show 'em, show 'em where they are.
A
clip of the ad is re-run with the pair picked out.
Sarah:
That’s Lea Thompson, the first one, and then Lisa Shue.
Jay:
Wow! So three big stars. They didn’t even know back then.
Sarah:
I feel badly for leaving the other two out, but I don’t
remember.
Jay:
Now, the last time you were here, you were telling me about
the Buffy drinking game.
Sarah:
Have any of us played the Buffy drinking game out here.
[The audience have] Oh yeah!
Jay:
Yeah?
Sarah:
Yes. It’s like every time something happens on the show,
like, for instance, you see Buffy’s bra strap.
Jay:
Right.
Sarah:
You have to take a drink.
Jay:
Oh, I see...
Sarah:
But I decided since it’d only be fair to other shows that
I like a lot on the WB or the Jay Leno Show that they
should have their own drinking games. So I’m here
to start two more drinking games.
Jay:
Okay, now what shows do you wanna?
Sarah:
The Felicity drinking game that I’m gonna start
tonight. Which is every time Felicity says the word 'Ben'
you have to take the drink. But - wait here’s a but
- you have to promise not to drink alcohol or you’ll probably
die of alcohol poisoning by the end of the third act!
Jay:
Oh! Miaow! [claws]
Sarah
pretends to get up and leave.
Sarah:
Well, we could forget my Jay Leno drinking game that
I was also gonna start.
Jay
continues clawing.
Jay:
No, I like that. Miaow! [claws] Is that being like
catty to Felicity?
Sarah:
No! Is it being catty to make a Buffy drinking game?
We could just forget my Jay Leno drinking game.
I was up all night working on this.
Jay:
No, no. What would it be on our show?
Sarah:
Okay, here we go. So, every time…a guest comes out
and you shake their hand, everyone has to take a drink.
Jay:
That’s okay, that’ll be at least three.
Sarah:
…every time Kevin says ‘that’s cold, Jay’
you have to take a drink and when Al, the lovely soundman’s
clothing rips up that’s, like, a whole bottle.
Jay:
That’ll be like every day, every day.
Sarah:
I thought it was just special in my dressing room!
Jay:
No, Al gets naked every day. You don’t even wanna
know. Holiday time it gets worse. Well, listen,
things are going well and your show is a hit and you’re
doing great aren’t you?
Sarah:
Very well, we have our Christmas show tomorrow, so you have
to watch.
Jay:
That’s right, the big special.
Sarah:
The big 'This is your life, Angel' episode.
Jay:
Okay.
Sarah:
Big Buffy-Angel…
Jay:
Once again, [shows photograph] the beautiful Christmas door,
ladies and gentlemen...Sarah Michelle Gellar! We’ll
be right back with Helena Bonham Carter.
Sarah:
[to Jay while audience applauds] You’re not coming to my
house for Christmas dinner now.
After
the break, Jay's guest was Helena Bonham Carter. Sarah's
only real contribution here was to add that she also rollerblades
in Santa Monica. BACK
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