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Conan:
Let's get on with the show, folks. My first guest ....please
welcome the very lovely Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Sarah
walks on, kisses Andy and Conan and sits down.
Conan:You
look fantastic.
Sarah:
Thank you. Thank you. That sign - what does that
say? I can't read it.
Conan:
Oh, it's not important any more. Oh, okay, he wants to
meet you. Big surprise! You really do look great,
I love those pants.
Sarah:
Thank you.
Conan:
What are those? Those are what animal?
Sarah:
No animals were harmed in the making of these fake pants.
I'm just putting that out there now.
Conan:
A plastic animal was killed.
Sarah:
They're plastic. It was the plastic animal. No Furby
-
Conan:
No Furby was killed.
Sarah:
No Furbies were killed in my pants.
Conan:
Not in your pants. I'm just trying to straighten
it out so there's no confusion here.
Sarah:
Thank you, thank you.
Conan:
It's great. We're glad. We heard you were in New
York City, you could do our show. Are you having a good
time here?
Sarah:
I have been having a good time. I always say it's great
to be mistaken for a celebrity in New York.
Conan:
What happened?
Sarah:
So I went to a party the other night and I was trying to leave
and it was little crazy and I saw someone much more famous than
me leaving and I thought 'oh, I'm just gonna duck behind them
and no-one will see that I'm leaving and...'
Conan:
Glad I could help.
Sarah:
Thank you, I appreciate it. It was kind.
Conan:
I'm such an idiot.
Sarah:
And...
Conan:
So you ducked behind someone to avoid like the press and the
mob?
Sarah:
Right, and the people who were outside. So I run to this
care and I get in and I look and it's just not my car.
And I'm about to get out and I realise I can't like get out
in the middle of the street and he goes, 'Oh, it's no problem,
I know who you are. I can take you wherever you want to
go'. And I'm thinking, 'that's so nice', you know?
Great, just drop me off a couple of blocks from here and I'll
get my car and this guy's just going on, he was so nice.
'It's so great to have you in my car. My girlfriend's
going to freak out. I can't even tell you you're in my
car. This is so huge. I just...' I'm thinking
'wow', you know, this guy's a fan.
Conan:
Right.
Sarah:
'What's your name again?' And before I could say 'Sarah',
'Christina Aguilera'! And I'm like, 'yeah'. 'I hear
your music, your new video'. I'm going 'thank you, thank
you' and I'm trying to like keep up with this conversation.
Conan:
Wait. So you were just saying you were Christina Aguilera?
Sarah:
I wasn't gonna tell him. He might kick me out of the car!
Conan:
Right. You know what you should have done was say, 'I'm
Christina Aguilera and can I borrow $500?' Then he'd follow
her around for ever. You went to...are you a sports fan?
Did I see you on TV at the Knicks game the other night?
Sarah:
I went. Let's hear it for my Knicks, we're going to win
tomorrow. Come on somebody, help me out.
The
audience cheer.
Sarah:
Thank you. Somebody had a faith.
Conan:
These guys would cheer pretty much everything you say.
Sarah:
Thank you!
Conan:
I see you at the Knicks game. You're sitting...you got
pretty good seats there.
Sarah:
I had some incredible seats. I have never sat courtside
at Madison Square Garden before and to be there and see the
Knicks. I got to take my picture with some of the Knicks.
I think it's about the highlight - I couldn't breathe.
I literally couldn't breathe down there. I was so star-struck.
Conan:
These guys. I mean, which ones did you?
Sarah:
Small guys. Very small, they make you look small.
Conan:
They do. I'm six four but in the NBA I'd be a speedy little
guy, you know.
Sarah:
Patrick Ewing looks at me and goes, "damn, you're short!"
That's what he said to me.
Conan:
In fairness he says that to everybody probably. I think
he's over seven feet tall.
Sarah:
He's seven one.
Conan:
Yeah, yeah. He just walks around saying that all the time.
Sarah:
Are you trying to belittle my meeting with Ewing? Is that
what you're trying to do here?
Conan:
I'm going to belittle Patrick Ewing - good idea. Yeah.
No, I wouldn't do that. Was it cool? Did you have
a good time? Did you enjoy the game?
Sarah:
I had the best time. I got a sweaty towel.
Conan:
Errgh.
Sarah:
That's a good thing.
Conan:
Why is that a good thing to get a sweaty towel?
Sarah:
It was used by the Knicks.
Conan:
I don't care, that's disgusting. [Holds up an imaginary
sock] 'I got one of the socks'. [Sniffs]
Sarah:
Remind me to cancel that gift I brought you from the game.
Conan:
You brought me one, oh okay.
Sarah:
I was going to but it's fine it you don't want it.
Conan:
We had...no, no, I want the sweaty towel.
Sarah:
No, it's fine, you don't have to fake it.
Conan:
Okay, good. I don't want it. We had a friend of
yours here the other day.
Sarah:
You did. I saw the show.
Conan:
We had David Boreanaz on the show who, of course, plays Angel
and now he's doing his own thing.
Sarah:
I was concerning about sitting in this chair - I thought there
was like itching powder in the chair.
Conan:
Why's that?
Sarah:
Did you see him?
Conan:
Yes. We did kinda notice this.
Sarah:
Okay, I'm going to say this really politely but since there's
no demure way, he kept just picking his butt on the show!
I'm sitting in my hotel room. I have total jet lag, I've
just flown in and I get home and like perfect timing.
I'm watching it and I'm thinking 'what is he doing?'
Conan:
You know, actually, this is not made up or anything. He
was doing an interview - seems like a perfectly nice guy - and
we actually have a still of the interview, he kept working away.
Something was wrong with him. Now there was, speaking
of him, I guess there was, I remember this. I think it
was a year ago, maybe two years ago, I can't remember how long
ago it was, when he was on Buffy and you guys had this
sex scene and everybody raised this big fuss 'cos they said
it was an unprotected sex scene between Buffy and Angel and
does that seem kinda silly to you?
Sarah:
He's a 240-year-old vampire. The guy shoots blanks,
okay? That's all I have to say about that. We're
not a public service announcement, we're a television show,
okay?
Andy:
Vampires!
Sarah:
I think they missed the whole point. That whole thing where
the next morning when he went evil and tried to kill all of
my friends because...
Conan:
Right.
Sarah:
...they missed that whole bit of it.
Conan:
They don't care about that as long as that sex was protected.
As long as he was a responsible vampire. I understand,
and I'm hurt that I wasn't invited but that's okay, that you
had a party last night in your hotel room.
Sarah:
I did. I had a little pyjama, say goodbye to your favourite
high school, watch the Knick game and don't insult James Van
Der Beek being having Dawson's on in the third room party.
Conan:
Oh, okay.
Sarah:
We had a party to, like, watch the season finale of 90210
and then the Knick game in the other room and we had every show
on but James' show and he's kinda wandering around the room
and 'no, no, it's on in that room', ran in real fast, turned
it on.
Conan:
You want to watch yourself, go in there buddy.
Sarah:
Yeah, he didn't go. He didn't go watch the Knick game.
Conan:
So how was the 90210 finale? I did not see it myself.
Sarah:
That was an exciting Knick game!
Conan:
Wow!
Sarah:
No.
Conan:
Oh man, you're in trouble now!
Sarah:
I have to say...
Conan:
When that cast comes after you. 'We'll get you!'
Sarah:
In defence I don't really watch the show. I haven't watched
it for years so I was kinda lost watching it. It's been
on ten years.
Conan:
I know, and they're still in high school. No, actually
they went to college.
Sarah:
You know, I think I was in eighth grade when the show started.
I mean, so I watched it then.
Conan:
It was. I actually so a little bit of it and we've commented
on this, a lot of people talk about this and they really are,
people make jokes about it, but they really are, I was watching
it and some of them, they're in their early fifties some of
them. They're still like, 'yay!'
Sarah:
And I had to watch my Knick game, so I was running back and
forth with my, you know, so I could check on both but it was
fun.
Conan:
It was good time.
Sarah:
It was funny, except for the hotel. I asked to get some
plates.
Conan:
Are we putting you up at this hotel? Is Late Night
putting you up there?
Sarah:
No.
Conan:
Cos we're pretty cheap.
Sarah:
No, it's a really nice hotel.
Andy:
Wait, she had three TVs in her room - we're not putting her
up.
Conan:
Yeah, yeah.
Sarah:
Wait, no, no.
Conan:
Good point.
Sarah:
So listen. You tell me if you think this is fair.
I'm having all these people over, this is New York City, I'm
ordering in some pizzas, right? So I call downstairs to
the big button, it says 'room service' on the menu and say,
'hey, I'm having some people over. Can I have some plates
and some forks?' Okay? So this is what I ask for
- some forks and some knives, right? Fifteen dollars.
Without the tip.
Conan:
Wait a minute. I don't understand. The fifteen dollars
is to just rent plates?
Sarah:
But listen to this -
Conan:
What's the name of this hotel? Let's trash them on the
air.
Sarah:
And then I'm worried they'll come and visit me at the hotel
I was staying at. And then -
Conan:
Just whisper the hotel in my ear. I promise. No,
I won't. Whisper it, don't worry.
Sarah:
And then when I called downstairs -
Conan:
Just whisper.
Sarah:
When I called downstairs to complain, they said, 'well, you
know, we charge 50c for every piece' and I'm, 'you brought me
five plates and five napkins and five forks. How do you
charge 50c and then charge me $15?' It's not nice.
Conan:
It's New York. That's the problem just with New York in
general and Manhattan. It's the only place in the world
where if you get like a pat of butter like with your meal it
actually shows up on the cheque.
Sarah:
Needless to say I made my friends use their hands. That's
the end of the story.
Conan:
Yeah. That's good.
Andy:
You should've just used the bed linen. That would've taught
them.
Conan:
Well that's not responsible Andy.
Andy:
No forks? Use the remote.
Conan:
Yeah, right. Stab! I'll find out the name of the
hotel and we'll reveal it on air and I'll be sued. The
Buffy season finale, which will be a lot better than
that 90210 finale, trust me, airs next Tuesday at eight
on the WB.
Sarah:
Clap louder now!
Conan:
Thanks so much for being here. Sarah Michelle Gellar,
everybody. BACK
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