Film
Buffy Kristy Swanson appeared in the May issue of the US edition
of MAXIM.
You can find more pictures of Kristy on their website
- some nudity but probably less than you'd find in the average
red top tabloid
.
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Anyone
who knows Kristy Swanson mainly as the actress who introduced
pop culture to a certain demon-fighting ditz in the original,
big-screen version of BUFFY
THE VAMPIRE SLAYER
might expect her to backflip into the restaurant and check him
for fang marks before settling down to talk. Instead she simply
peels off her fashionably vintage coat (which belonged to an
aunt who died a virgin, she reports), props up her incredibly
high-heeled boots (which don’t look like they could belong
to any virgin), and flashes an alluring smile.
Just as BUFFY
has undergone a fairly radical metamorphosis to become a darker,
more epic television show (with new slayer Sarah Michelle Gellar),
Kristy has moved on, too, playing a variety of smart, sexy characters
in movies such as THE
CHASE,
HIGHER
LEARNING,
THE
PHANTOM,
and most recently, BIG
DADDY,
with Adam Sandler. Now she’s starring in her own CBS series,
GRAPEVINE,
a comedy set in sun-soaked Miami that features the brand of
frank bedroom talk more typically found on racier, cable fare.
And lucky for us, that spicy South Beach vibe seems to have
slain a few of Kristy’s inhibitions. “I’ve never
done a nude scene in any of my movies, so these photos for MAXIM
are the farthest I’ve ever gone with being so revealing,”
she says. “But I was totally comfortable with the whole
thing. It was cool.” That’s not the adjective we would’ve
picked, Kristy, but who are we to quibble?
Maxim: Are you by any chance related
to the makers of those fine Hungry-Man dinners?
Kristy
Swanson: Not that I’m aware of, even though I grew up eating
frozen TV dinners. And back when I was in school, because of
their commercial slogan, kids would always say to me, “[teasingly]
Swanson makes it go-o-od.”
M: We couldn’t agree more. Your
new TV series, GRAPEVINE,
is about a bunch of friends and their sex lives in Miami. How
steamy does it get down there?
KS:
It’s definitely a sexy city. It’s a warm, humid place,
so everybody goes out late at night to the clubs. It’s
all about music and dancing and people partying. Miami oozes
sex.
M: Your cast is a very tanned bunch.
Have you ever caught some rays in the nude?
KS:
Yes, but not in Miami. Um, OK, there was one day recently when
I took my swimsuit off on my balcony. I thought I was alone.
But there were these big cranes on top of the hotel next door,
and this one guy was up there, and he started waving at me.
[Laughs] I was, like, Uh, tanning session over.
M: Do you like to hear about your friends’
sex lives in real life?
KS:
If they have juicy stories to tell, I’ll listen. For instance,
here’s a good one: My friend hooked up with this pretty
girl he met at a club. Before they go back to the hotel together,
she says, “Let’s get some nail polish.” So they
stop at a drugstore, and she buys this purply-blue color. When
they get to the room, she has this whole thing: She wants to
wash his feet and give him a full-on pedicure. It gets so involved
that she’s clipping his toenails, and actually draws blood.
Then she wants to suck his toes! And this is not turning him
on in any way, shape, or form. He was, like, Oh my God, what
do I do? I told him he should have called security.
M: Yikes. Care to share an odd sexual
experience of your own?
KS:
Well, a few years back my boyfriend at the time was coming home
from work and I was going to surprise him. I put on stockings,
garters, high heels, and the whole bustier-bra thing. I thought
it was cute and sexy. So I’m sitting there in a chair with
candles lit and everything, and he walks in and laughs.
I think he was just so shocked, he didn’t know what to
do.
M: There’s a guy who really needs
a subscription to MAXIM.
KS:
Oh, I wasn’t even mad at him for it. I didn’t realize
he was going to be so surprised. Thank God he didn’t have
a heart attack.
M: What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve
heard about yourself?
KS:
About myself? I heard one years ago that I had slept with River
Phoenix. That I had de-virginized River Phoenix. And I thought
that was the most ludicrous thing I’d ever heard, because
I never even met the guy. Never hung out with him, never spoke
to him, never nothing, you know? How do you get from that to
de-virginizing someone?
M: You’re into rock climbing and
snowboarding. Were you a tomboy growing up in Mission Viejo,
California?
KS:
I was an ice skater and dancer, but I also liked to run around
with the boys, dirt biking and stuff. We’d go down to the
quarry and do jumps on our bikes. Most of my friends are guys
because I’m not judgmental toward them or anything. I just
let them be whatever they are. I’m kind of like Darla on
THE
LITTLE RASCALS,
you know, because she was allowed to hang out with the guys
and be in the clubhouse, but still be a girl.
M: Now you belong to a cigar club in
L.A.
KS:
My friend Joe Pantoliano, the actor, recruited all these celebrities
to help with publicity for the club. I said, “OK, I’ll
help.” The guys at the club are great. I have fun with
them, just hanging out, watching football. I have my own humidor
there, but it’s empty because I don’t really smoke
cigars.
M: You don’t?
KS:
No. I smoked my first cigar with Joey. He was, like, “Feel
the aroma? Feel the sensation?” And I was, like, “Uh,
yeah, and I feel like I’m gonna throw up.”
M: Do you still get recognized as Buffy?
KS:
Yeah. That surprises me because it was so long ago, and now
there’s the TV series, which is much darker than the movie.
Just the other day, I stopped to pick up some food at a sushi
bar, and the lady working behind the counter goes, “Oh,
I know you. You Buffy.” Then she starts reading off all
my movies: “THE
CHASE,
and THE
PHANTOM,
and I just saw MANNEQUIN
TWO
the other day.” I was, like, “OK, OK. Wow.”
M: Before Buffy you were a different
kind of slayer in Wes Craven’s DEADLY
FRIEND. The first words
said about you in that movie are “Nice tits.” Do you
agree?
KS:
I think I’m OK in that department. [Laughs] It’s not
like they’re dragging at my knees. If someone says, “Show
me your tits,” I don’t have to lift up my skirt.
M: Your character shatters an old lady’s
head with a basketball. That goes in the gore hall of fame.
KS:
That was a good scene. They went to a butcher and got actual
cow brains to stuff inside the fake head. Yeah, we all watched
that one in slo-mo a few times.
M: In THE
CHASE you have sex straddling
Charlie Sheen while he’s driving a BMW 100 miles an hour.
Any particularly perilous sex in your own past?
KS:
Probably the first time I did it, because we didn’t know
what we were doing. And there was the possibility that his parents
might walk in. And we were on a waterbed, which was a true test.
Mostly I just remember it being over very quickly.
M: Do you remember more of your lip
lock with Jennifer Connelly in HIGHER
LEARNING?
KS:
I recall that a lot of guys were, like, “You got to kiss
Jennifer Connelly!” For all the men out there: Yes, Jennifer
is a good kisser. We also shot a European version, which, I
think, shows a little more skin.
M: Do you have any theories on why
guys are so into watching girls fool around?
KS:
I don’t know. Maybe it’s an inbred response. I’ve
seen girls who really play that stuff up to guys. I think there
are a lot of girls who put on a show more than they actually
do it. They’re not necessarily even lipstick lesbians—they’re
probably straight girls just trying to get attention.
M: So how do you like to be kissed?
KS:
On my mouth. That’s usually my first choice. Very softly.
Soft and slow—I’m not into the bass-mouth kiss. A
little lip biting is always good, too.
M: The neck?
KS:
Neck is good. [Long pause] OK, I’m gonna need a
cold shower.
M: So you can get excited just having
naughty thoughts?
KS:
After a little bit of time goes by, you start to get a little
horny. Like, Oh, it’s time! I can go a while without,
and then—you know. Sex in my life is pretty normal.
M: If you could be a guy for one day,
what experience would you be most curious about?
KS:
Peeing standing up. I’m pretty curious about that. Is it
easier? And I’d like to see what it’s like meeting
girls. Because you hear guys complaining all the time about
how hard it is to meet a girl, and get turned down, blah blah
blah. They kind of whine a bit, and I want to find out if it’s
really true.
M: Do you have a dating rule you never
break?
KS:
I won’t date a guy who doesn’t own a toolbox. I’m
not saying you need to be able to knock down a wall or build
a house or anything like that. But I’ve been out with a
couple of guys who didn’t own toolboxes, and they couldn’t
even change a light bulb. I had this one boyfriend and I actually
said to him, “You don’t own a toolbox. I kind of have
a problem with that.” He sent his assistant out
to Home Depot the next day to purchase tools and a box. A few
days later, he takes me into the laundry room, and lo and behold,
there’s a toolbox. I open it, and all the tools are still
in their plastic cases. I go, “OK, you now officially own
a toolbox, but a) it’s not organized, and b) it’s
unused.” You’ve gotta have a used toolbox.
M: You must be really attracted to
carpenters.
KS:
My friends tease me about this, but I believe a girl knows absolutely,
within the first five minutes of meeting a guy, if she’s
going to have sex with him. I’m not saying she would do
it with him right then, but that a girl knows whether
or not she’s attracted to a guy. You can usually tell if
there’s a chemistry with someone. It’s all chemical—you
just have a vibe with someone. God, I forgot this is a men’s
magazine. I shouldn’t be revealing girl secrets. I’m
breaking the code!
M: We won’t tell anyone. Honest.
So what kind of guy makes you have that chemical reaction?
KS:
I don’t have certain types I go after. The relationships
I’ve had in the past, nobody looks like any other guy I’ve
gone out with. I’m usually attracted to their personality
and their aura. It’s not, like, “Oh, he’s drop-dead
gorgeous.” A guy is sexy because of his personality. A
really good sense of humor is a big, big plus in my book.
M: So a guy has a better chance of
getting in the sack with you if he can make you laugh in that
crucial first five minutes.
KS:
Unless he makes me laugh while we’re having sex.
That wouldn’t be funny. BACK
TO THE TOP
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